STB Army, we need to talk. If you’ve been in the crypto game long enough, you’ve probably developed some… let’s call them ‘unique’ behaviors.
You think you’re just a normal trader, but deep down, you’re a full-blown crypto degen. How do you know for sure?
Well, here’s a checklist of shame. If you relate to at least 5 of these, congratulations—you’re one of us.
1. You Check Crypto Prices More Than Your Own Health
Doctors recommend eight hours of sleep, daily exercise, and balanced nutrition. You recommend waking up every two hours to check Bitcoin’s price, pacing around your room like a madman, and surviving on caffeine and Hopium.
2. “Wen Moon? Wen Lambo?” Is Your Life Motto
Your co-workers are planning for retirement in 30 years. You’re planning for retirement next Tuesday, as soon as that one memecoin hits a 1000x. In reality, you’re more likely to get re-rugged before the weekend.
3. You Speak Fluent Crypto and Confuse Normal People
Your friends: “So, how’s life?”
You: “Bro, the market’s in full FUD mode, the whales just manipulated the RSI, and I had to BTFD before the supply shock hits.”
Your friends: ::blink in confusion::
4. You’ve Held a Coin from ATH to Near Zero “Just in Case”
You bought in at the absolute top, watched the price plummet, and told yourself it’ll bounce back. Now, it’s worth less than a gas station hot dog, but you’re still coping with, “It’s not a loss until you sell.”
5. You’ve Blamed the Market for Your Bad Decisions
• You bought the top? “It was market manipulation.”
• You didn’t sell at the peak? “Whales dumped it too fast.”
• You got rugged? “Bro, how was I supposed to know ‘FlokiDogeShibaElonCoin’ wasn’t legit?”
Spoiler alert: It was never the market. It was you.
6. You Trust Strangers on the Internet More Than Your Own Friends
Your best friend tells you not to put your savings into a random token. Some dude with a cartoon penguin PFP on Twitter tells you it’s the next 100x. Guess who you listen to?
7. You’ve Told Yourself “Just One More Trade” (And It Never Is)
You were up 500%, but instead of securing profits, you whispered, “Just one more play.” Now, you’re down bad, eating instant noodles, and promising yourself you’ll “trade smarter next time.”
No, you won’t.
8. You Believe You Have “Diamond Hands” (Until It Dumps -50%)
“Oh, I never sell under pressure, I have diamond hands!”.
The moment your portfolio is down -50%: “Okay but like… if I sell now, I can buy back lower.”
Next thing you know, the coin moons, and you’re crying in the group chat.
9. You’ve Spent More Time in Telegram & Twitter Spaces Than With Your Family
Your mom: “When are you coming over?”
You: “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in a Twitter Space discussing whether Ethereum gas fees are killing decentralization.”
You haven’t seen daylight in three weeks.
10. You Keep Saying “This Time Is Different” (It Never Is)
Every cycle, every crash, every meme coin rug pull… “Nah bro, this one’s different.” No, my guy. It’s the same story, just a new chapter in the book of Bad Financial Decisions.
Final Verdict: You’re One of Us Now.
If you checked 5+ boxes, congrats—you’re a full-fledged crypto degen. There’s no escape. You’re forever stuck in a loop of hopium, FOMO, and regret.
And honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.
#STBArmy #DegenLife #STB #SecureTheBag
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